Visions of Grandeur

Burn Pile Memories

Sorting. 

Thank goodness we put the house on the market way early. In getting things straightened up for showing we were forced early on to begin sorting through our material lives.

An easy place to start was with the two large boxes of tax records. 

While we watched fluffy English language movies during the long nights in early November I would go through folders and envelopes. So many utility bills, bank statements with numbers, but no meaning, so many checks for Scholastic book orders and Girl Scout Cookies. Every now and then there would be an astronomical check for a bonsai tree, a garden pot, an airplane ticket to France. These I would read out loud to Tom and we would be in wonder at what we had been doing at that time, who we were to spend so much money, who were those two people?

After we had reminisced and laughed at those forgotten experiences, 99% of those papers were put into paper bags for disposal. Being Fall the perfect thing to do was to stack all these bags into the garden cart and head on down to the burn pile. As flames caught the bags you could see the papers curling up and then ashes began to float into the air. Big paper ashes.

 Suddenly we both laughed. All those evenings of viewing our past. The chance to recapture memories that had drifted away were again drifting into the ether. What about writing that memoir that could have been pieced together? - now we could create just any ol’ thing we want. 

Group Lessons

Some lessons learned from group participation:

Listen

Be firm yet gentle in your statements. You will see these people in the grocery or at the gym

Learn from your elders and your youth

Be humble

Be joyous

Be silly

Take risks. You will feel stronger

Be passionate even when it is scary to be in the public eye. Say it even if your lips are trembling

The right group can be safe and make you better emotionally and better in your actions

Thank you Williston. Thank you Vermont for the all the opportunities to participate and shine in the little things we could contribute.

Are You a Groupie?

Tom thinks that when he moves to France that no groups will find him.

Ha!

Bonsai, “Don’t Mall Williston”, Choir, Habitat, the town council, Save the Steeple, Save the Horticulture Farm. Not sure that I can remember all the good causes and frantic needs he’s participated in. For someone that thinks he doesn’t like people he has had a lot to offer and talents to share. They will find him in France no matter his intentions to hide from humanity. And as we learned from our lovely experiences in Williston, what better way to get to know our community, our friends and neighbors.

In the meantime I will continue to participate in any happy group that comes along. We’re going to be in France. Let’s join in!!

Once he said the next time we move to a new country we’re not learning the language……. too late for that.  And I’m not moving to Siberia.

no guilt...

From Perfume to My Antonia I have had such grand adventures with The No Guilt Book Club.

No guilt for sitting on the sofa and being served like a queen, no guilt that husbands have been left at home to help the children get their homework done. Or worse yet, that the entire household of the hostess has been banished to entertain themselves for the evening so that the girls can meet in peace. Peace among wine indulging women being a relative thing.

The husbands and families are shooed away, because we don’t want to reveal our shameless lack of attention to guilt. There is no guilt for a little extra wine tonight. No guilt that the noise level of our chatter is about to raise the roof.  And, to those who may not have actually read the book, no guilt from the righteous few that just might have. There is no guilt for not finding elegant words to describe why you liked or disliked the book.  And mostly no guilt for the fact that with such great cooks in this group we eat way too much tonight.

We could be called the Really Great Cooks Group. But that would cut out the experiences gained through books. Where the authors transport us emotionally, physically or historically. We may not talk about them much during the evening, but these books are a shared world that we journey through.

Maybe in the next year or two we’ll write our own adventure story. We’ll call it No Guilt in France.   (Assuring our abandoned families that the guilt will arise from any especially untoward behavior.)

Maybe others of you want to join in on that one. Keep tuned in for opportunities to be had in the small village of Bourdeilles.  I plan to be organizing week-long adventures in our region of France for women’s groups (whether well-read or not).